THE BLACK CARD, THE REDBONE CARD?
By Gary J. Gabehart


I have a cousin, at least she claims to be (she's never been able to present the genealogy), who insists she is actually Black and not Redbone. She also insists that I, and the rest of my family, is Black as well. She of course does not have any genealogy or any other proof that there is any Black blood in the family other than she wants to be "Black." In fact, DNA studies do not indicate, in any of the lines so far, that there is any recent "Black" blood. (Yes, Ray Bridges, who claims to be Redbone and is a 4 th cousin of mine, says I am a Mexican -- that the Goins were Mexican, and I do look brown, but there is no truth to it -- except, the Goins were Mexicans after being Americans and before becoming Texicans -- Ray is really not very bright).

Yes, you can say "so what, what's the big deal?" There is of course, no big deal, I say everyone needs to be somewhere, but being Black might not be that easy. What do you do to be Black? What does Black look like? If I want to be Indian, I just braid my hair, speak in halting English, eat fry bread and spend my time at Pow Wows. See how easy it is to be an Indian? I gave you the Hollywood image and you bought into it right away. But what do you do to appear Black? Eat ethnic food? Stand in the sun all day?

Now it would seem to me if I was a Black Man or Woman, I might find it some what insulting to have an obviously "White" Woman insist that she is Black, then, on the other hand, I might just blow it off as a crazy White Woman. Personally, I do not care what she wants to be because it does not really affect me directly. But what do you do with a relation who accuses you of being a racist because you refuse to go along with her "Black" plan? What if the Rev. Wright was really White; can he prove he is Black and not a wannabe?

I think there is a need for a "Black" card. Call it a "Certificate of Degree of Black Blood," (CDBB). This card would be proof that you had "Black" blood even if you had no Black features -- this card of course is long overdue. In fact, they need to issue one in this country for Jewish people as well. It would be the "Certificate of Degree of Jewish Blood," (CDJB). This would do away with the wannabe factor and protect various cultures from unknowing contamination...hmmmmm, seems like a 1930-40 German leader had the same idea.

Why a card? North American Indian people carry the card, "Certificate of Degree of Indian Blood," (CDIB) -- I carry one. If it's good enough for Indians, it should be good enough for Blacks, and -- it would protect them from my goofy wannabe cousin and certify all the reverands. It would also create new jobs, the Bureau of Black Affairs, (BBA), and the Bureau of Jewish Affairs, (BJA), or the Bureau of Chinese or Turkish Affairs, (BCA or BTA) and Congress would have new money streams for raises. Finally, everyone in the country would know who they "really were." But, could they prove their blood?

What if the Rev. Jesse Jackson's, Rev. Al Sharpton's and others - Barrack Obama and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright could not prove being Black? What would you have to "prove to be Black?" How many people would be left out because they could not prove it? You know, there are plenty of folks out there who look Indian, and want to be Indian, but they are not -- and there are plenty of real Indians who just can't prove it either. The same applies to Black's, but we could classify them as Wannabe's, Mulatto's, "free people of Color" or others, if they could not prove their blood. That way, they would have some place in the new world order.

These cards would also put the race baiters out of business (well, I'm just saying that because it sounds good), what if the race baiters could not prove their race? Does this all sound bizarre? Is it bizarre that North American Indians carry a card to prove they are Indians?

So what do you say to a cousin who insists you are Black and calls you a racist because you question her comments? Of course, she can always change back to White or Indian in the blink of an eye -- thus the wannabe. Any ideas? Some people's kids!

Best,

GARY J. GABEHART, Mishiho (Mish-eh-ho)

Mishiho@aol.com